it's always take a long time for me to update my blog. i spend my holiday in batam and singapore. but i think this is the worst holiday. i got so much affect from a broken heart.
i just know that broken heart is so pain like this.
I tried to look strong, but in reality I was weak. I try not to think about all the things about him, but there is always a gap that makes me remember him, I hate this, I hate to myself that looks so weak.
I always try to think positive and open mind, so I would not hurt, but I just realized how much I was so fond of him. I was angry when saw him go out with girl friends, but I know that I have absolutely no right to it, I mentally ill but I can not do anything about it.
ultimately mom's always angry to see me cry so, she always said, it is a relationship, and you broke up because it has become a decision both of you, then why are you still crying about it again? you just a useless think. I try to do like what my mom said, but I can't.
and now I try to be patient, try cheerful and happy, I knew my life was not only thinking about things that are not important, and I should be more happy with my life.
but do you know, lose someone who had been present in your life after a year or more is really suffocating chest. as the most important things missing but you can not look back. you must not take it back. I just can't accept that he would change like other person that i never know..
and after that, more painful to know not only him who is lost, but also your best friends, happy life full of your friends disappear, and you're lonely?
I never want to say to anyone that I'm lonely, I have a family who loved me so, and a few friends though sometimes are not able to accompany and understand me every time.
I know these all must be passed, but somehow I see the days became so slow passes, he could spend time with his friends, go outside or anywhere. but how about me?
I'm looking for my activities, that is always trying with Kyuhyun oppa, looking for videos, songs, photographs, which actually is my escape, I really need is to figure where I can lean back and pour out my feelings.
but I know I should not be spoiled. and all this must be passed.
5 komentar on "come back with so much pain.."
how did you lose your bestfriend also?
everyone would know why did you lose your boyfriend by reading your prev post...
it's your fault... why did you must care for unimportant things...
if you don't want your boyfriend to befriend with another girls then cage up him...
he's not animal you know... he's human... you should use your brain more...
jealousy won't bring people anythings...
get another boyfriend and act like that again... you won't get husband for sure...
and with that attittude.. i think i may know why you lost your best friend also...
Yeah, I agree with the other one who had already written a comment in here.
You can't treat someone that you love like that you know.
All people have a freedom to have a friends with both male & female, so you are.
Human are created to interact with the other human as much as they want, so you shouldn't have forbidden them.
Just remember one important sentence, just like the other person had already written it, "Jealousy won't bring anything to people, it only produces pain to us" ........
like you said...
jealousy means you admits that you lose to the person that you jealous for...
if you have him then just believe him cos he's the one that choose you... if you don't believe in him, how could he?
thank you for all advises.
I know im still a human that never been avoided by any mistakes.
I accept all your critical and try be better person.
now I have a new boyfriend, and I let him to do what he like. cause yeah you are right, I must learn to trust the one I love.
I dont need his body, I need his love and soul.
love is about trust.
Posting Komentar