Come Back

make up, hair do by Liana Ly

Holla!! I'm back again..

after long time I never post anything in my blog.

cause I never sign in anymore almost I forgot about the password. lol.

That has so many things that happened when I didn't post my blog.

I was so busy with college, because I've reached the end of the semester, I should be busy with the making ofa thesis. sometimes stressful period was coming, until I did not even want to touch your laptop or computer todo anything.
the guidance day have passed, and I just need to collect thesis, I hope that in March, I can through my thesis session well, and graduated with a satisfactory value.

and im so sorrryyyyyy for all comment that I cant reply. so anything to ask just follow my twitter. @chibikawaii Follow @ChibiKawaii

and we can share anything there. thanks for reading. and I'm waiting for ur mentions :)

Valentine this year

maybe I'm a little late to discuss the valentine. but since is still in the month of February did not matter if I show off a little bit about valentine this year.
Last year, I did not receive any valentine gift, actually I did not really expect a gift, but this year, jagi's friends took me to exchange gifts with jenny, metta and meme.
unfortunately I did not have a picture they present, because all are in memory of my bb is now being hospitalized. I just have some of them that I uploaded to facebook.

me, meme, jenny and metta

and also, I made something special for my jagi, this year I'm trying to make my own a little chocolate mixed with sweat. wakakaka
I make a lot, for jagi, and for liana. and after making chocolate-brown, I can no longer resist my feeling tired, and immediately went to bed, dreaming of the beautiful things about us. haha
actually I kinda doubt make him so much chocolate, just fear he will be sick after eating chocolate that much, but it's not me if i am not evil right? hahaha

this is my own chocolate

our clay frame

I also made a clay frame that was already planned from last january, since I could not make it myself, so I ask my friend to help me to make it.
I'm really interested to learn about clay, so if I have managed to make it I will make very much about our miniature, but I think it is quite difficult to learn clay, and in jambi absolutely nothing is open courses for it.
a few days ago I also ordered a pair of key chain for both of us are made of clay. I designed it myself, and I hope it will be nice key chain as I hoped.

that picture above, is I take special to show you what I give him for this valentine, Im just too happy to give those gift. i never expect any gift from him, cause I really really only want to make him happy. the one thing that make me so happy is he put that clay in his living room, and also how his mom expression when see what i give to him. hahaha im just too happy cause never get attention like this.

you see the big gold box? It is a gift that jagi given me, unfortunately I did not want to share to anyone, I can not display photos on gift.
rather than can not, but I do not want to, because I too like his gift, and I really appreciate it as a secret between me and him. the only people who know it is only liana.
okay I'll give a little leak, inside the box there are so many heart-shaped paper is folded by himself. jagi said he began to fold it every night in January until 1 am, and because I so loved it, now every night I write all the papers that heart-shaped with all my feelings about him.
he also gave me a cd containing the video, which actually does not make me cry when I first watched it, *wakakaka sorry jagi* I just moved and could not speak. but the night when he was sick and we can not meet, somehow I actually cried watching the video, maybe because I too miss him.
He also gave me the film rolls containing photographs of us, my pictures. and I have not even ruin it within 24 hours. T_________T
fortunately jagi able to return to fix them, and this time of course I will guard it well.
yahhh this year all went smoothly, Valentine's smooth, and what about white day later? hehehe.

How bout last night?

These days I'm really bored, first because my beloved bb eventually have to be checked and separated from me for a few days, upgraded, and others. a few days without my bb really painful, hollow and boring. there was no entertainment, no fuel, and sms. huaaaaaa: ((
facebook also becoming increasingly deserted, every update status no one comment, really sad. wakaka
but last night was a very beautiful night, although there are still loads two subjects that have not finished, but I'd be on holiday for some time until march 2, because this weekend I was really free! yeah!
last night .. haha I really can not share with anyone, even on a blog, completion of my exam on campus, I'm picked up by jagi, because he also just got home from work, without a bath he immediately picked me up in college, I ended up waiting for his bath to his house first and eating, in fact I plan on eating at home, but I think I got a "want to eat suddenly" syndrome , and finally I decided to take him to eat "MIE HIJAU" hahaha.
I met some college friends there, and after that we went to the Ly's house, and finally went home.
I showed him the videos webcam recordings when I was stressed and talking to myself in front of the camera.
oh damn I'm really embarrassed to see he know all the contents of my heart for this, but I tried to open minded and do not want to cover anything from him, therefore, I did not mind when he asked me to show the video speech like i have entered into cable tv artist.
affection which is so abundant in all things I feel that I'm through with him, and I think I just want to always be with him.
I just hope that this time I'll be fine with him, and I did not want to feel heart broken for the second time. hopefully all goes well. forever and ever. hope so. Amen.

I cut my hair..

I really liked my long hair is curly, all say I like Korean girl :p *hope something too much* and I really liked it although it takes time and extra energy to take care of it.
but in the end I had to cut my hair short, because of loss. T_________T
I'm pretty sad to lose my hair, and I really can not wait to go back length hair.
'Jagi'>> name that I use to call andi kur. say if it was not a matter of long hair, short, straight or curly, in essence, I changed so much, from a spoiled girl becomes a girl who is more mature both in appearance and attitude.
heey. I've semester 5, even a minute I was ready to arrange KP and my thesis, no time to be childish and become like a schoolgirl.
even so I still miss the my long curly hair. huaaaaaa ..

chibi is back

how a chibi again active on the blog in a long while to spend time to meditate. LOL. I changed my appearance in various ways to relieve stress at first, trying to be someone who is more mature and open-minded. finally God sent me someone who I hope will be the best, although he was not the first I just hope he will be the last.
a man named Andi Kurniawan sent to me into a boyfriend who fill my days beautifully. * Alay mode on *
exact date of 12 December 2010 we started a relationship, and now have 2 months more I date with him.
I get a lot of different experience and feeling from the previous ex. where a sense of fun, togetherness with friends, taste funny, caring which is so abundant and the days that always feels so nice.
my relationship with him now makes me feel a lot of new things that is really different.
one thing I remember, when we went out and came home the rain, I feel like laughing for some reason. I just remember when i was in high school when I ever said I like the feel of rain always make me want to laugh and dance and it was the first time I feel with someone who really special. and this time he wore his raincoat to me, while himself throws cold rain. he is just so sweet and so kind. he is different. he is polite and never do unpolite thing like so many girls said about boys.

then when my birthday, he called me promptly at 12 midnight and sang a birthday song for me, and that night he brought me a birthday cake that I never get from any guy. I just touched by the little things he does.
and when New Year's Eve I just say one wish, that hopefully I can continue to see his cheery smile throughout this year and forever. Amen.

My Andi Kur :p

seorang chibi tak perlu punya pacar yang bawa bmw
seorang chibi tak perlu di bawa ke restaurant mahal berbintang 5
seorang chibi tak perlu punya pacar yang bisa bawa keliling dunia
seorang chibi tak perlu punya pacar yang bawa kapal pesiar
seorang chibi cukup dengan seorang andi kur yang jelek
seorang chibi cukup dengan andi kur dan teman2nya yang menyenangkan
seorang chibi cukup dengan seorang andi kur yang sederhana
karena seorang andi kur yang sederhana membuat seorang chibi merasa sempurna ♥

come back with so much pain..

it's always take a long time for me to update my blog. i spend my holiday in batam and singapore. but i think this is the worst holiday. i got so much affect from a broken heart.
i just know that broken heart is so pain like this.
I tried to look strong, but in reality I was weak. I try not to think about all the things about him, but there is always a gap that makes me remember him, I hate this, I hate to myself that looks so weak.
I always try to think positive and open mind, so I would not hurt, but I just realized how much I was so fond of him. I was angry when saw him go out with girl friends, but I know that I have absolutely no right to it, I mentally ill but I can not do anything about it.
ultimately mom's always angry to see me cry so, she always said, it is a relationship, and you broke up because it has become a decision both of you, then why are you still crying about it again? you just a useless think. I try to do like what my mom said, but I can't.
and now I try to be patient, try cheerful and happy, I knew my life was not only thinking about things that are not important, and I should be more happy with my life.
but do you know, lose someone who had been present in your life after a year or more is really suffocating chest. as the most important things missing but you can not look back. you must not take it back. I just can't accept that he would change like other person that i never know..
and after that, more painful to know not only him who is lost, but also your best friends, happy life full of your friends disappear, and you're lonely?
I never want to say to anyone that I'm lonely, I have a family who loved me so, and a few friends though sometimes are not able to accompany and understand me every time.
I know these all must be passed, but somehow I see the days became so slow passes, he could spend time with his friends, go outside or anywhere. but how about me?
I'm looking for my activities, that is always trying with Kyuhyun oppa, looking for videos, songs, photographs, which actually is my escape, I really need is to figure where I can lean back and pour out my feelings.
but I know I should not be spoiled. and all this must be passed.

SUCK !

I was awakened by nightmares. dream which is very disgusting. I dream of a ghost better than having to get a dream like that. I dream of Antonius came to my house carrying a girl, he said they had text, he told me that he sought a new girlfriend, and she's sitting with a nice stick on Anton. he says if I do not like, he can disconnect them right there, but once listened to the girl directly have a face like crying. somehow in the dream I was stupid, I immediately drove them both, and said nothing, still have time kindly with her and say sorry for her, watching them go and the girl sat in the front seat where I used to sit anton's car .
if it is a fact I will not let them get away with just like that, let people think I'm evil or anything, I will strike Anton down immediately and let him go with black and blue.
I know I'm no longer has the right to regulate or prohibit him with another girl, yet so far I also have a text with another guy, and somehow the feeling that time anton. but I do not know, I'm one who sometimes can not help be jealous. I finally woke up and seemed eager to immediately call him but I knew it was dawn and that boy must still be dreaming knows where.
finally I go to facebook and I saw his profile. and I am increasingly annoyed at what's in his facebook, as though my dreams it's a sign. yesterday he went to play badminton, he said he went with her male comrades, but in reality there are girls there, send a wall of saying thanks, and he also wall to wall with a girl who is not familiar to me, seemed to his friend in school, he called the girl with My lovely sister. suck! with the words sweet ass asking this and that.
aaaaarrggghhh! I'm really not willing, I hate him. HATEEEEE!!!!.
why should I feel like this feeling, I should ignore, I was a nobody. I always tell Candy to ignore, but the truth. I'm pissed! I hate him! today he will definitely get a result, even if it does not hold, after this I would call him.
no matter what, I just want my irritation is delivered!

Happy buffday babe :)

today is his birthday. ok actually I have absolutely no obligation to give something or to celebrate his birthday with him today, because anyway I do not have anything to do with it.
but I want his birthday this time become the last birthday we were together and laugh as a couple.
from far today I've ordered a cake accompanied by Ly, relating the current condition of my finances really a crisis, I absolutely can not buy something valuable or expensive items like other girls. essential intent and meaning. that's what I always say to myself.
so when this day, I left home early in the morning took the cake at the bakery shop. but I forgot! I'm riding a bike, alone, too. half dead I hold it so as not to damage the cake with one hand, while another next to a motor. especially when the rest of traffic lights, I almost scraped the truck, luckily I was a former racer. hahaha.
when I get in front of his house I immediately hit the horn several times, actually have little doubt, too, I'm afraid that if his mother who opened the door. some long-awaited but no one who opened me the door, I finally called him and found him still sleeping. ckck.
with a semi-conscious face and tousled hair, he opened the door, but instead I want to cry. the cake is damaged. T_T
As I entered the hallway of his house, the street was not bad and I finally managed to control the grip, the cake is damaged, right in writing "happy birthday Antonius Halim"
huuaaaaa. so sad.
so after enter the home I immediately opened the cake, but I was always clumsy, I punctured my finger to the cakes, and its deterioration. huaaaaaa.
but all the equipment running smoothly, make a wish, blow the candles, cut the cake and the most important photographs.

im happy, if only as a friend now, it's okay, I have always wished his happiness :)

hope I will get a treated of a nice big meal tonight. hahaha

although tomorrow I'm getting a final exam, but I still spend any time with relaxing and enjoying life!